Hello, autumnš
On not being Superwoman, the elusiveness of rest, and 7 things I'm loving this season
Hello, friend,
Here are some simple notes from my cabin, and coast. This newsletter brings a close to the busyness of summer, hinting instead at tones of russet and gold, weak sunshine peppered with raindrops and rainbows, and promises of cosy evenings, knees drawn up under soft fleece blankets, possibly with tea, even better with a book.
Welcome, to the first peek of autumn.
āItās a life of quietness and simple pleasures, of kindness and relative solitude. It feels like a manageable kind of life and Iām at a point where āmanageableā needs to be the defining feature.ā
Quote from the comforting novel āThe House in the Hedgeā by
, which was a beautiful companion to me for my summer family adventure to Brittany, France.This quote, these words, help me breathe.
On not being Superwoman.
I am still in somewhat of a crevice of a place. A place where I hanker after stories of those who have shunned the bright lights of modern life, who seek quiet cosiness over brash parties, who find their adventure through fairy tales, travelling in their minds with precious words where their feet cannot follow.
I thought this yearning had passed; alas, I still find myself beguiled by tales of hermitting, of the permanent shutting of laptops, of leaping into campervans for months at a time, of days filled only with beachcombing or woodland foraging.
This summer, despite spending a pretty blissful time holidaying, I have acknowledged that I am not a traveller. I am truly a home bird.
I am not someone who thrives on adventure, on a break to routine, or the great unknown. I am also not someone who finds relaxing easy. You often find this with yoga teachers. We are a breed who are sensitive to the speed and hurry of life, and so > need yoga > find yoga > fall in love with yoga > want to share that love with the rest of the world, immediately > overwhelm our big-hearted souls with all our efforts and striving and boundless enthusiasm > return to the start of that cycle, and begin again.
I know I need to slow down. I know I need to rest more. Yet I continue to rush, and rush some more. I apologise and nod āyes, of course!ā, mollify and accommodate and squash myself into more socially acceptable shapes. On good days Iām told I can captivate, bewitch and delight those Iām with; eyes bright, cheerleading and encouraging and uplifting andā¦at the same timeā¦utterly, entirely breaking myself in order toā¦
ā¦Iām not sure what.
And so, despite evidence to the contrary over the past couple of decades, it seems I am not, in fact, Superwoman. Instead, I am entirely, wholly, human.
That revelation is going to take some time to sink in. Lifelong patterns and neural pathways need to be rewired. Because I am incapable of resting. Of doing nothing. Totally incapable.
Something, it seems, is still missing. And therein lies my mission, for autumn :)
7 things Iām loving this season.
To counter all of this angst: a journaling activity, and a marvellous excuse to dial up your self-care practice a notch or three.
You may have heard of the āSeven Pillars of Healthā, of which there are many variations. Below, Iāve created my own seven focus areas for health, which may also fit you well. If they do, perhaps you would like to use each focus area as a starter in your journal, and see what comes up.
Iām movingā¦constantly, but my favourite has been mine and my husbandās new routine of beach walking our lurcher together, early each morning, which we started on 21st March and have kept up ever since. Dog walks were always a solo activity, so this has been the most special time. Fresh sea air, holding hands (sometimes), precious time to chat, and belly laughs at our hilarious four-legged best friend. You too may enjoy changing your movement routine as the season turns. Perhaps mind-map in your journal all the physical activities that youāre curious about. Choose one.
Iām eatingā¦heaps of wholefoods, as my conscious effort to pack in my 30 plants a week continues. Once I even hit 30 in one day ;) Itās easier than you might think. If you need a helping hand try this book. Remember to journal about the quantity and quality of your fluid intake, as well as your food.
Iām feelingā¦the change of season, the change of routine (for my work, our childrenās schools and afterschool activities), change is everywhere right now. What can I do about it? Not a lot. I can be organised, I can do my best, I can breathe :) You may like to doodle your thoughts on your own emotional and spiritual health for this pillar.
Iām thinkingā¦this is your mental health pillar. What is occupying your thoughts right now? Are those thoughts helpful? Can anything be let go, or shared with a loved one, to release it? My own thoughts are both scattered and cluttered due to those plentiful changes to routine. My hope is with plenty of space to surrender anything unnecessary I can feel more clear, as autumn spreads her wings.
Iām connectingā¦this pillar is about friendship and relationships, but also about how I/you can find more play. In my own life it seems play comes easily when there is sufficient time (like on holiday recently), but it is the first quality to be dropped when schedules are stretched. You may like to journal or think about:
Q. how can I coax play back into my everyday?
Iām restingā¦as mentioned above, rest eludes me, and this shall be my project for autumn. Sleep, thankfully, is healthy right now, and even was on holiday, which is not usually the case. I couldnāt be more grateful. For this pillar you could choose to expand on the different types of rest, and which feel most important to you in this season.
Iām nestingā¦this pillar is all things home and environment, recognising how important that safe foundation is to everything else in our lives. A mantra Iāve been using this summer: āI have a comfortable home, good food, and a loving family. Anything more is a bonus.ā
You may also like:
- , parts of which Iāve kept to re-read on tough days
listening to anything by Beautiful Chorus, who create captivating vocal affirmations and harmonies
the phenomenal new Prime television series āThe Girlfriendā (which also has an epic soundtrack)
my autumn playlist for my Thursday evening ābedtime yogaā class. Itās a goodun. Join us, if youāre in West Somerset?
Stroll gently into autumn, my loves.
Wow!! So completely surreal to see myself quoted :D...I'm glad Hazel and Co. kept you company on your holiday.
So much of this post hit me in the Feels....I very much recognize myself in what you've written, particularly the obsession with hermitting. :) Lovely to read your words again, xo
Thanks for this lovely, gentle read. I really related to your thoughts on September being a time of change, and on the importance of home. Have a beautiful autumn.